In It for the Long Haul
When
John and I first met and married in 1988, he was the owner of small business in
Minneapolis. About a year later that business closed and he opened a new one in
the suburbs, requiring another move for us and another new school for my girls.
The distance between our new home and John’s three children brought a change in
visitation, from twice a week to every other weekend.
As
many entrepreneurs know it’s extremely hard to be competitive operating as a small
independent store against the big-box corporations. In three short years we went
out of business and lost our only source of income. The stress weighed heavily
on our shoulders. John was responsible for child support for his three children
and ultimately we were responsible for the well-being of six children, the
youngest only three years old.
John’s
first instinct was to ‘run away’ in a sense. He suggested we move out of state,
someplace where we could start fresh and no one would know we had failed. As
John outlined his reasons, I knew in my heart it was wrong. Leaving Minnesota
would mean far fewer visits with his children, and I felt that my daughters had
already been through too many changes in recent years. The five older kids had formed
a bond, and it was evident they felt equally close to our youngest son. The
kids were all doing well in school, but this type of a move could easily
disrupt the foundation we had worked so hard to build.
We
talked it through, prayed about it, and ultimately agreed we would stay. Within
a matter of three weeks John and I had each found a new job. Not just temporary
jobs—something to make do until something better came along—but good jobs, ones that paid well and suited
our individual skills. It renewed our sense of belonging and allowed us to keep
our home and remain in the community.
In
the years that followed the ties within our blended family continued to
strengthen. Thanks to God’s grace and mercy we made it through the various ups
and downs that life brings. One by one the kids graduated from high school,
moved on to college, and sought their own paths in life.
As
we celebrated the third wedding in our family a few weeks ago, one of the
guests commented it was neat to see that the program listed all the attendants
as “sisters” and “brothers” of the bride. And that’s how the kids feel about
each other today, sisters and brothers. For
John and I, that sentiment is our reward, 24 years later.
Blessings,
Barbara
